Aardvark Daily

New Zealand's longest-running online daily news and commentary publication, now in its 24th year. The opinion pieces presented here are not purported to be fact but reasonable effort is made to ensure accuracy.

Content copyright © 1995 - 2018 to Bruce Simpson (aka Aardvark), the logo was kindly created for Aardvark Daily by the folks at

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Last column of 2017

20 December 2017

Well just five days to Christmas and with all the preparation that's needed for my Christmas eve gig, this will be my last column for 2017.

There are sleigh-runners to wax (and it needs a WOF/rego), reindeer to feed and water, elves to thank and billions of homes to visit so I'm going to be very busy.

Yeah, okay... I do look like Santa -- but I'm not.

Of course I always ask kids what they want for Christmas and they often turn to their mother and ask, sotto voce, "is that *really* Father Christmas?"

And, since December is the best month of the year for YouTube revenues, I'm busy working on a bunch of vids for release over the next few days, hopefully to get a little reserve in the bank to last through the drought that follows in January and February.

I have picked out a very special can of Watties baked beans for my Christmas dinner (given that the old-sheila is going to spend Christmas with the kids and I'll still be working).

In keeping with the Christmas spirit, I have adorned this can with tinsel to give it a proper Christmas flavour. It mirrors the incredible efforts I have gone to in order to create my illuminations...

A single red LED, powered by a CR2025 button cell adorns the front of the house so that people driving past can stop and stare in awe.

I have my Christmas movie list all queued up and ready to play as well:

  • Bad Santa
  • Bad Santa 2
  • Die Hard
  • It's a Wonderful Life
  • A Christmas Story

For a mid-day tipple I'll be indulging in a little shandygaff, perhaps my favourite refreshing drink for any hot summer's day.

I would go flying model aircraft on Christmas day but unfortunately that requires someone to act as an observer so, although I'm home alone this Christmas day, I expect most other people will be enjoying quality time with their families.

So why didn't I go with the old sheila to the kids for Christmas?

Well simple economics. The old girl and I will have our own Christmas early in the New Year -- when gifts cost less, the weather is more settled and my time isn't worth nearly so much when it comes to earning a dollar.

I hope all Aardvark readers also have a great Christmas and get exactly what they wish for. Please accept my grateful thanks for your support over the past year (and the preceeding 22 years if you've been a reader for that long).

Short of any major news outbreak or important happenings taking place in the meantime, Aardvark Daily will be back early in the New Year -- so keep checking the site for updates.

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