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Aardvark Daily

New Zealand's longest-running online daily news and commentary publication, now in its 25th year. The opinion pieces presented here are not purported to be fact but reasonable effort is made to ensure accuracy.

Content copyright © 1995 - 2019 to Bruce Simpson (aka Aardvark), the logo was kindly created for Aardvark Daily by the folks at aardvark.co.uk



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Well this is crap!

1 July 2019

I'm sick... it must be man-flu because every hair on my body hurts.

A nasty cough punctuates the silence every 20 seconds or so but surprisingly I'm not surrounded by nasal emissions or an Everest of damp tissues so I don't think it's a regular cold.

It is not fun, being at the mercy of some viral pathogen, hell-bent on hijacking your body's own cells to replicate itself. This will have to stop!

Sadly, there is no "cure", other than time and patience

Damn and blast!

Every time I reach for the paracetamol, my liver gives a little twitch, to remind me that this stuff is surprisingly toxic in even moderate doses. I might have to alternate with aspirin every second hour perhaps.

Hang on... a message from my kidneys... "don't you know what aspirin does to kidneys?"

Bugger!

I guess I've got several more days of feeling like I've been keel-hauled across the Atlantic ocean -- that's fun to contemplate isn't it?

I'm sure there are plenty of readers who'll recommend wrapping up warm with some form of highly sweetened alcoholic beverage... but then I'll probably have to add a hangover to my woes in a few hours time.

Bah!

Ah well, I'll just use the strategy I've always used for dealing with such infections and try to keep my body temperature as high as possible. Apparently many pathogens have a very limited temperature range in which they're viable and this is why we run a fever when we're ill. The body raises its own temperature as a defence mechanism, so as to weaken the pathogen.

That has actually worked pretty well for me in the past and "sweating it out" does, in my own experience, shorten the duration of a cold or even flu (on the rare occasions that I do actually get the flu) by several days.

So here I am... fan heater blasting full-bore, hot water bottle under my feet, singlet, tee-shirt, shirt, jersey and jacket around my frame and a thick beanie on my head -- feeling *very* cosy (well uncomfortably hot actually).

The old sheila (who is in the final stages of recovering from the same malady) is griping at me because she hates it when I do the sweating it out thing -- but I'm getting married next Saturday (so is the wife) and need to be a whole lot more functional than I am now.

So, my apologies if there are a few missing days worth of your daily dose this week but if things get worse I'll take it easy for a bit.

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