Aardvark Daily

New Zealand's longest-running online daily news and commentary publication, now in its 25th year. The opinion pieces presented here are not purported to be fact but reasonable effort is made to ensure accuracy.

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Fertile times for conspiracy theorists

3 December 2021

Welcome to the future.

We hope you'll enjoy 1984, even though we're nearly forty years late in its delivery.

As of today, you'll need to show your "papers please" whenever you wish to avail yourself of most shops and services.

These papers will consist of the QR "mark of the beast" that is your vaccine passport and your photo-ID so that we can confirm you are who your passport claims you are.

We are certain that you will understand that this is all for the good of humanity and your fellow citizen and that your utter loss of privacy and anonymity has been removed for the greater good.

Do not think of us as an overbearing government, think of us as your friendly "big brother", always there to protect and care for you.

And rest assured that these vaccination passports are only a temporary measure.

The inconvenience of using these documents will soon be a thing of the past because we plan to streamline the system even further.

To make life easier, we will soon be requiring all businesses and public services to install cameras, linked via the internet to our central computer system.

The benefits, to you, of these cameras will soon become apparent in the form of increased security and a more streamlined access to those goods and services.

Through the use of AI-based facial recognition systems via this network of cameras, we will be able to instantly verify that you have been vaccinated and are thus able to access the services you require. Rest assured that for the time being the records of an individual's movements will not be used for any purpose other than the control of Covid 19.

However, we are sure that you will feel safer in the knowledge that any crimes detected by these cameras will be swiftly dealt with because the perpetrators will have already been identified. Big brother is protecting you.

Those amongst you who still choose not to be vaccinated are also being invited to attend a series of educational seminars that will be provided in the coming months. These seminars will last up to six months, although those who choose to be vaccinated within that time may excuse themselves from the balance of the course.

Anyone still choosing not to be vaccinated at the end of the seminar will be invited to repeat the process, until they fully understand the importance of vaccination.

Full live-in accommodation will be provided for the duration of the course. To save money, the courses will be held at existing facilities in Mt Eden, Paremoremo, Waikeria, Rimutaka, Addington and a number of suitable institutions within the Corrections Department.

Of course we do acknowledge that vaccination remains, and always will be, a personal choice.

Once the Covid pandemic is over, we are sure that all New Zealanders will continue to benefit from the institutional infrastructure that we are now putting in place. Think of the days ahead when you will be able to move freely from camera to camera, safe in the knowledge that your Big Brother is always keeping an eye on you so as to make sure you are protected and well.

Until we get things sorted, please excuse any minor inconveniences associated with the current Red Light system and the extra documentation and proof of identity you will be required to carry.

All the best...

Your big brother, the government.

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