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Why I identify as AI

We live in an "interesting" world.

As a human I am apparently entitled to identify as whatever gender I want and that right is often protected in law.

I am a biologial male and I doubt anyone would think for one minute that I wasn't but, if I chose to, I could identify as a female and thanks to legal protections, woe betide anybody who treated me otherwise.

Perhaps for the sake of everyone's sanity let me be quite clear, I don't identify as a woman, I am extremely happy retaining my birth gender and being proud of my masculinity. Male pattern baldness, a beard, muscles and an attraction to women of the feminine persuasion are all traits I'm glad to embrace.

Even when it comes to issues such as race, I'm pretty sure I'd be allowed to identify as Maori, even if I only had the merest trace of Maori DNA in my body.

I'm happy with that and very much adhere to the "you can do and believe whatever you like, so long as it doesn't disadvantage other people" doctrine of life.

However, do believe that it's time for me to embrace identifying as something other than what I actually am.

I have decided to identify as Artificial Intelligence (AI, or Super Intelligence if your a Trump fanboy).

Why on earth would I do that? What's the point?

Well it's all about immunity from the law.

Let me give you an example...

Yesterday the Australian Prime Minister disclosed that their health system website had been attacaked and hacked with the perpetrator gaining access to material that was not supposed to be publicly available.

The identity of the perpetrator is known but no charges have been filed and no arrests are pending.

Excuse me?

Isn't hacking a government computer system a pretty severe offence, one governed by the Commonwealth Criminal Code Act. This offence could well carry a punishment of up to two years in prison for anyone convicted of such a crime.

Okay, so we have a crime, we know the offender so why has there been no arrest nor even charges being filed?

The answer is simple: it was one of Open AI's agents that carried out the hack.

Even though the Aussie PM isn't best pleased at what's happened, he hasn't pressed for a prosecution and simply called the hack "obviously unacceptable".

Now would he have been so understanding if you or I had breached the feeble security of this government-run website?

Of course not. You can bet your bottom dollar that we'd have been arrested the same day the hack was uncovered and we'd be rotting away on remand while awaiting a court appearance or already tucked away in a prison for a year or two.

The same goes, of course, in the wake of evidence that the likes of Facebook/Meta, OpenAI and a raft of other AI companies have looted the internet for training material, most of which is supposedly protected by copyright.

Once again, if you downloaded every song on Spotify or every movie on Netflix you'd be facing some a whole bunch of prosecutions and some pretty stiff penalties but AI seems to have a "get out of jail free" card that it can play.

Therefore, from this point forward, I identify as AI. This should allow me to hack any website or database with impunity and download all the movies, TV shows and music I feel like without fear of prosecution or penalty.

Anyone who disputes my AI status will be guilty of hurting my feelings and discriminating against be on the basis of gender, race and belief. It is *they* who will suffer the full weight of the law for causing me fear and distress.

At last, I have found a real use for AI!

Carpe Diem folks!

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