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Lighten Up 18 January 2002 Edition
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Million $ Ideas
At last, the contents of Aardvark's "million-dollar ideas" notebook are revealed for all to see!
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Time for more of the odd-ball, quirky and sometimes funny stuff that lurks in the backwaters of the web.

Coincidence Design
Here's a worrying website. It goes way beyond computer dating and verges on the frighteningly wierd!

Big Muscles Fast
Why work out when you can wow the chicks with these beauties!

Win toilet paper!
And who said there were no freebies left on the Net?

Need Cutting-Edge Copy?
As NZ's longest-running online commentator, I'm looking for extra syndication opportunities for this daily publication -- or I'm happy to write casual or regular material specifically to order for print or Net-based publications. If you're interested, drop me a line

Bandaid Bill Is At It Again
Billy-boy says he's seen the light and will be changing Microsoft's focus from "features" to security.

Yes, that's right -- it's only taken a decade for Bill to admit that he was wrong and the rest of the online community was right when they said that Microsoft's attitude to the design of online systems was stupid.

Of course, as we know, Mr Gates has always been a bit slow on the uptake. How much memory is enough? The Net won't amount to much because MSN will rule the world? Customers want features ahead of security?

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In true Gatesian style, Bill fired off a memo to over 47,000 staff informing them that they were now involved in an initiative which is to be known as "Trustworthy Computing." Oh please, which PR company stung them six figures to come up with that name?

In this memo, Bill rallies his troops to battle by telling them that "if we don't do this, people simply won't be willing -- or able -- to take advantage of all the other great work we do."

"...all the other great work we do"?? I'm sorry -- I must have missed something here.

Was he talking about harrassing charitable organisations so as to squeeze extra Windows licensing fees out of them perhaps?

Or maybe it was making the average Windows user an easy target for any wannable hacker who wants some cheap thrills on a Sunday afternoon?

However, we've got to give the man credit for fessing up to the fact that his company's products, from a security perspective, are nothing but crap. As he so rightly states -- "All those great features won't matter unless customers trust our software. So now, when we face a choice between adding features and resolving security issues, we need to choose security."

Errr.. excuse me Bill but hasn't anyone actually told you that good security isn't something you can add on to an existing OS or application in lieu of a new feature?

Good security is something that needs to be considered at every stage of the design and implementation process -- it's not something you can go back and tack on later like a bandaid just because the market and the government is bitching at you.

But hey, we can't expect Microsoft to be concerned, or even aware of little details like that can we? After all, "security" is clearly something of a foreign concept to the Microsoft team.

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I also invest over 300 hours per year writing the daily column and compiling the day's news index -- all for your illumination and entertainment.

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Security Alerts
Admins asked to check buggy line printer daemons (AAP - 08/11/2001)

New vulnerability exposes Excel and PowerPoint macros ZDNet - 29/10/2001)

Microsoft tightens software security (CNet - 16/08/2001t)

Code Red Worm A 'Runaway Success' (7amNews - 20/07/2001)

Virus Alerts
Gigger worm can format Windows PCs (The Reg - 11/01/2002)

Happy New Year' worm hits Windows (ZDNet - 19/12/2001)

E-mail worm Gokar spreading (CNet - 13/12/2001)

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