There's nothing to stop anyone from hanging up their shingle as an
"Internet Marketing Expert" these days -- and many do.
While some of those who make such a bold claim are able to back up their words
with proof, others tend to be more than a little short on evidence to back up
their bragging.
What astounds me most about so many of the "experts" that appear out of the
woodwork is their somewhat unusual past -- often bearing no relationship at
all to the field of Internet marketing, let alone any other kind of marketing.
We all know about the (now) infamous Danny De Hek who first came to prominence
in this column but there are plenty of challengers to his "Internet Marketing
Expert" crown -- and this week I found the newest contender.
Let me start by saying that some of what this guy says is true -- albeit pretty
much just commonsense. Some of his other claims however must be open to question.
First let me direct you to the web site of
Mike Masters, "Internet
Marketing Specialist."
Or perhaps that should be -- the web site of
Mike Masters,
"Master Hypnotist."
Or maybe it should be -- the web site of
Mike Masters, AKA
"Cookie The Clown."
And maybe, just maybe... could Mike Masters be the stage name of one Shayne Thompson
whose IHUG homepage looks
strangely familiar
and whose phone number is the same as that given for Cookie the clown.
Okay... so that was a lot of fun... but what about Mike's claims as to his marketing
expertise?
Well he says he can guarantee to "show you how to achieve a TOP 10 ranking"
in popular search engines. This claim is boldly topped off with "I GUARANTEE IT"
in warm welcoming "blood red" size 7 font. I wonder what happens if he gets
20 people all in the same line of business attending the one seminar? I guess
half will get a refund.
Like all "Internet Expurts", Mike promises to show you how to "Create and
design an effective website." He proudly boasts that his own site has taken
just six hours to design. Sorry Mike -- it shows!
Okay, as I pointed out at the start of this piece, much of what Mike says is
commonsense. Get yourself listed in the top 10 on AltaVista or Infoseek and
you will see much more traffic, that can't be denied. But what about this
claim:
- The average web site gets 100 visitors per year
Does it? I didn't know that. Less than one visitor every three days?
Where did this information come from?
And what about this.... Mike offers to do a web page or
website evaluation
for $275. I certainly hope that for this price he checks that all the
links work. Some how I doubt it though. Why? Just try clicking on the "Seminar
Schedule" link on that page. Yes, even the experts make mistakes.
But wait... there's more! You can get lots of "free stuff" from Mike's site.
Yes, he'll send you "free" reports on how to start and run a home-based Internet
business. Mike admits he didn't write these -- hmmm.. where have I heard about
a business/scam that operates by selling "free" reports on how to run your own home-based
Internet business before? Probably just a coincidence. I wonder why Mike can't
just make those reports available for download rather than using a "mailto:" tag,
forcing you to hand over your email address.
Of course, if you're interested in seeing what Mike Masters really looks like,
and you've got time to download over half a megabyte of black and white image
then you can click on the link he's thoughtfully provided on
this page. Someone ought to tell Mr Masters
that if he'd saved that picture as a JPEG, he'd have reduced the size by 480Kbytes!
DDH was an interior decorator who became a clown, Mike Masters is a clown who
has taken up teaching people all about Internet marketing -- with the odd bit
of hypnotism thrown in for good measure. So Mike Masters isn't another DDH --
but then again, he's expecting people to pay almost $300 to be told how to get
their sites into the top 10. I've had plenty of spam in my email box that offers
to do the same for just $39.95.
Ya makes ya choices and ya pays ya money I guess.
100% Pure NZ
The Pure NZ site has me scratching my head.
It's the long-awaited web site that is part of the Tourism Board's attempt to
promote NZ into the global tourism market for the new millennium.
I'll start with the good things..
Technically I can't fault this site. It's concise, it uses Flash in a sensible
manner that doesn't impede a user's access to the "meat" and doesn't make it
hard for non-Flash-equipped users. It's very easy to navigate, it doesn't
fall into the trap of using huge bandwidth-sapping graphics and it organises
information sensibly.
In short, as a tourism portal it's pretty damned good -- I really can't complain
at all.
However (you knew no Aardvark review was complete without that eh?)... the
site leaves me feeling somewhat unfulfilled. It's more like a text-book
than an adventure story. There's plenty of steak but no sizzle.
This is not really as much of a criticism as it might sound -- I'm the first to
admit that treading the fine line between function and excessive baggage is very, very difficult.
Had they decided to up the visual impact on this site then I might have found
myself complaining that it was too slow or too "fluffy."
Still, I can't help feeling that it must be possible to make the site more
exciting and compelling than is currently the case.
I find it surprising that for a campaign that is so strong on establishing the new
and distinctive "100% Pure" branding, they didn't build a web site that was
equally distinctive. Quite frankly the squarish banner/left-hand menu format
and colour scheme they've used is similar to about five million other web sites.
Whereas you can easily recognise sites such as Wired.com, CNET, ZDNet and
AltaVista from a considerable distance by virtue of their distinctive layout
and colour schemes -- this site blends into the forest of other web sites
far too easily.
Still, it's good to see that they're using some of the ideas floated earlier
this year when the local Net industry was mooting the idea of cooperatively
creating such a site. The forums are also a good idea -- although I hope
they have a moderator. Perhaps "Richie" with the xtra.co.nz email address is
the moderator -- he seems to have responded to everyone who has posted anything
to those forums.
The bottom line? -- A well implemented, if somewhat characterless site that
meets all the technical requirements that could be required of it.
All it needs is a bit of sizzle to rate a higher score but still gets
a very commendable seven out of ten Aardvarks.
Right Of Reply
One Right Of Reply this week, Patrick O'Brien's
comments in response to
this column.
