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Lighten Up 1 September 2000 Edition
Previous Edition

Time for your weekly dose of Net-related humour, most of which has been kindly suggested by Aardvark readers.

4 Christian Bowhunters Of America
I kid you not... this is a bona fide website for all those God-fearing bowhunters that proliferate throughout the USA.

The site itself is decidedly lacking in humour -- but it just goes to show that if you look long and hard enough, you can find just about anything on the Internet.

4 Funny Hardware
Here's a collection of amusing pictures related to computers -- with more than a few barbs pointed at Microsoft. I just love that Microsoft keyboard!

4 Strawberry Pop-Tart Blow-Torches
This is one of my long-term favourites and I'm sure some of you will have seen it before. An excellent application of good science to a farcical topic.

4 Aardvark's BBQ
Maybe you had to be there to think this is funny -- but a look at the bottom of this page (one of Aardvark's own) shows what happens when your brain is not properly connected to your hands when testing a jet engine.

What's going on here?
The IDG website is reporting this morning that the government's new 4 e-Commerce Summit website is now online and taking registrations.

However, clicking the link in 4 IDG story produces an error, and going directly to the URL quoted produces a screen that simply says "Site coming soon..."

Of course this may all be fixed by the time you read this -- but I was hoping to take a look and give readers a report on what's being offered here. Too bad, never mind.

Let's just hope this isn't a portent of the approach to e-Government by our overlords (The ghost of INCIS lives?).

Note: after the above was published, IDG changed their story. To see what the original story looked like, click here.

Another month passes...
Readers Say
It is obvious our government is backwards thinking - Michael
Have Your Say
Of course no first edition of the month would be complete without the now all too regular complaint from me that "yet another month has slipped by and New Zealand is still no closer to developing a serious knowledge-based economy."

The dollar continues to fall, overseas investors are taking a wide berth, NZ's trade deficit is the worst in the OECD -- bar none, and our government (misnomer!) continues to focus on improving the plight of Kiwi workers by coming up with short-term palliatives by way of labour reforms and re-nationalisation of key services.

As has been pointed out by numerous overseas analysts -- the key to improved economic performance lies in boosting productivity levels. I've seen absolutely nothing -- nothing -- nothing at all in any of the government's policies that address the issue of increasing NZ's productivity. Adding extra artificially created jobs does nothing for productivity, implementing the ERB will do nothing (positive) for productivity -- our politicians are solving the wrong problems!

We need to work smarter -- and that's going to demand that we embrace and develop the new economy -- FULL STOP.

If the current government are having trouble figuring this out, or how to go about doing it then let me make them this offer. I will gladly contribute what ever I can by way of my own skills, experience and insight. I'm not asking (and don't want) to be paid -- I'm simply a citizen who is concerned (and worried) enough about the misguided path which this country appears to be taking that I'm prepared to contribute what ever time I can to helping put the wheels back on our trolley.

While there may be many others in the ranks of those who consult to government who have a long list of qualifications and academic references -- the value I think I can contribute is that I represent the type of entrepreneur that we should be encouraging. The kind of person who is prepared to put in what ever effort it takes to turn a small investment into an export-earning company that shows high net returns -- the kind of returns that can turn our budget deficit around and boost the wealth of the country and its people.

These people don't need a fist-full of public money, all they need are is for government to clear out some of the bureaucratic obstacles currently blocking their way.

N'uff said -- until next month when I'll likely have to say it all over again.

As always, your feedback is welcomed.

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The Day's Top News
4 = open in new window
New Zealand

4  Govt E-Commerce Summit site goes live
The Web site for the government's forthcoming e-commerce conference has gone live and is taking registrations...
IDG NZ

4  Time running out for 0867 agreement
After 3 1/2 months of negotiating Clear and Telecom have failed to find accord on a new interconnect agreement that would settle the long-running dispute over 0867-prefixed internet dialling...
NZ Herald

4  Curbs Ahead for Online Pharmacies
It's been a drawn-out process, but authorities here are preparing to restrict supplies of drugs from online pharmacies...
Wired

Other

4  Wireless Still Seeking the App
The wireless Web is in its infancy, and companies are racing to find the application that will give potential users a reason to care...
Wired

4  Salon.com underwriter supports struggling stock
Investment banker William Hambrecht reports that he controls a 6.2 percent stake in Salon.com, a stock that his firm underwrote and that has dropped more than 80 percent...
CNet

4  Online sales hit $5.5 billion in second quarter
The Commerce Department issues its third report on e-commerce, saying U.S. retail purchases over the Internet totaled 0.70 percent of all sales...
CNet

4  Microsoft unveils browser
Microsoft Corp. will introduce a new variant of its Internet Explorer browser on Friday, designed to make it easier on new Internet users to access Web sites and the company's net-based services...
CNNfn

4  Byte-Sized Signatures
Digital signatures become legal across the USA in about one month and businesses are gearing up for their widespread use...
TechWeb

Australia

4  St George DOS attack victim
ST GEORGE Bank’s internet banking service has fallen victim to a "denial-of-service" attack, the bank said today...
Australian IT

4  Rumour mill adds spice to Sausage
SPECULATION of an imminent takeover and the possible exercise of 30 million options held by Telstra has triggered a rush on shares of e-commerce software firm Sausage Software...
Australian IT

4  ASIC reprimands ozEcom
The financial watchdog has clamped down on a capital raising drive by the Internet start-up, questioning details of its profit forecasts and risk disclosure...
NewsWire

4  Scientists rally to stop IT outsourcing
Australia's top scientists have staged a protest against a government decision to outsource their IT support, arguing that no IT company in Australia is capable of meeting its research requirements...
NewsWire

Other

4  MS docs vulnerable to privacy bug
Word, Excel and PowerPoint documents can call other computers and report information when a shortcut is used for including images in e-mail. But the 'Web bug' hasn't bitten -- yet...
ZDNN

4  Some U.K. Net Customers Cost ISPs $1,000 a Month
If World Online's experience is any indication, Internet service providers in the U.K. are going to have a hard time staying in business...
The Standard

4  Sega launches online game blitz
PT The video game company will unveil an online gaming network, cut Dreamcast prices and spend $100 million telling people about it...
ZDNN

4  Forget mobile! PCs to fuel e-commerce
Online purchases made using personal computers will continue to dominate e-commerce despite increased use of mobile devices, according to a report by Forrester Research...
ZDNN


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Copyright © 2000, Bruce Simpson, free republication rights available on request