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Of course these days the prestigious titles of "Sir" and "Dame" have been replaced by some god-awful poli-speak which has, in my opinion, significantly degraded the value of these honours.

Every year, when reading this list, I hope that I *don't* recognise any of the names and I also vainly hope that many of those appearing are being honoured for their services to the community and/or science and technology.

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The reason I hope not to recognise the names is because I believe such honours are best reserved for those who gain no other recognition for the good work they do. Quite frankly I can see no point in giving such an award to someone who's already a highly successful business-person, actor, writer or sporting star.

The people on this list should be the kind of people who have worked for years delivering meals on wheels, providing the benefit of their knowledge and experience to the community for free over many decades, or who are engaged in some other selfless, invaluable and otherwise unrecognised activities.

Of course this year I was just as disappointed as usual.

Once again those at the top of the list seem to have received their honours for simply being famous, being an artist of some kind, or having been a civil servant for long enough to have collected the necessary fly-buys points.

For example (and pretty much at random): "Colin Maurice Nicholson, QC, Auckland. For services as a Judge of the High Court.". Now I'm sure that Mr Nicholson is a fine fellow and a very hard-worker who's served the community well over the years. But let's face it -- as a High Court judge and a QC, he's been pretty well rewarded already for the services he's provided - so does he really deserve an honour for simply doing a very well-paid job?

And here's another: "Jonathan Falefasa (Tana) Umaga, Wellington. For services to rugby". Well I'm pretty sure that Tana is doing "very nicely thank you" as a result of his "services to rugby" -- but is being a well-paid and widely recognised professional rugby player really something deserving of an official honour?

Then there are the "Additional appointments, for military operational service" which, it would appear, is simply a recognition of the fact that you're employed by some arm of the military and have done the job you've been paid to do.

Meanwhile, many thousands of selfless, dedicated, community-minded individuals give freely an enormous amount of their time to helping others -- for no such recognition.

Similarly "so you did what you were paid to do" awards include those given for:

• services to the wool industry
• services to the fruit industry
• services to the hop industry

Does all this really sound fair?

I did a quick tot-up of the various reasons for which honours were awarded and (fortunately) those given for "community service" were the largest category -- although they are also far more likely to be the recipient of a "lesser" honor such as the Queen's Service Order Companions.

It's no surprise however, that the next most common recipient was the good old civil servant "just doing their well-paid job", closely followed by members of the Arts community. Business awards just edged out sports and Science/technology workers came pretty well down the list.

So what does this tell us?

Yes, if you do work hard to help others for no financial reward then you might just score an honour - but being a government employee (especially in the military) or working in an area (the arts) favoured by the encumbent PM certainly won't hurt at all.

The thing that irks me though, is that if some aging military hat can earn an honour for simply keeping a seat warm and doing the job he's chosen to do and is well-paid for, why don't people this also get an award for their hard-work and cleverness?

Surely Ms French's work will have a far more positive impact on many members of the community than the actions of someone who is just a well-paid civil servant?

But here are my nominations for a Queen's Birthday honour:

Theresa Gattung - for services to broadband and deregulation. Without her bone-headed belief that the government would never dare to unbundle the copper and regulate Telecom's activities, we'd still be the victims of an awful monopoly.

Annette Presley - for showing us that it's not just men who have balls.

Michael Cullen - for services to the emigration industry. Never has Australia looked so good to so many Kiwi technology workers.

What are your nominations?

Tell us all and see what others have to say in The Aardvark Forums

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