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New Zealand's longest-running online daily news and commentary publication, now in its 25th year. The opinion pieces presented here are not purported to be fact but reasonable effort is made to ensure accuracy.

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Junket time?

09 Apr 2024

Politicians love a good time on the taxpayers' dollar don't they?

The problem, from their perspective, is how best to justify the expenses involved in overseas travel, expensive hotels, wining, dining and all the other "baubles of power".

Well New Zealand's Science, Innovation and Technology Minister seems to have found a way to tick all the boxes whilst pretending to be working hard to further the nation's interests.

According to this report from RNZ news, Judith Collins (formerly known as "Crusher" Collins) is headed off to the USA to sell NZ as a spaceport.

She will, of course, be accompanied by a contingent of other "important" people living off the taxpayer's teat. This group is described as "NZ defence and space agency representatives".

So what's the plan? What's the goal? What are the chances?

Right now NZ can claim to be the launchpad for RocketLab, a Kiwi startup that was bought out by US interests a few years back. They hurl stuff into low-earth orbit from time to time, relying on their carbon fibre rocket and electrically powered 3d-printed engines to give them a commercial advantage over their competition.

I must admit I had a little cringe when I read that Collins said this:

"I'm the first Space Minister - fully Space Minister in the world"

Yes, that's right... as usual, it's all about *me* *me* *me* when you're a politician looking for the chance to promote yourself.

Collins claims that there are advantages to launching rockets from New Zealand. Apparently the risks of a rocket-launch being mistaken for an act of war are greatly reduced when it comes from a farm paddock on the East Coast.

Unfortunately, I suspect there are far more in the way of disadvantages to being this far from the equator.

If you've ever wondered why the USA launches most of its rockets from Florida rather than Alaska, it's because there are very real benefits to being near the equator when you're trying to hurl stuff in to orbit. At the equator, you get an extra 1,600Km/H of orbital velocity for free -- due to the rotation of the earth. Down here in Godzone, that figure is reduced by around half and thus, extra fuel is often required to achieve the same outcome.

Polar orbiting craft (ones that orbit in a north/south plane) are best launched from regions as far from the equator as possible -- so New Zealand isn't a best choice for them either.

More cringing was created by the usual poly-speak spin in this statement:

"Beyond rocket launches, our researchers and companies are using innovative, disruptive space technologies to tackle some of the planet's big challenges and to create new and exciting opportunities for economic growth"

Sigh!

The interesting thing is that many countries are now hyping up their future in the space race with even the UK making grandiose plans to get onboard.

Finally, I had to laugh at this statement:

"As well as space, there are real opportunities in other areas of advanced technology and I'm looking forward to hearing about and discussing these with the growing hub of New Zealand tech businesses based in Colorado."

Errr... why do we have so many NZ tech businesses based in Colorado if Ms Collins was telling the truth when she also said:

"New Zealand is an attractive place for space-related business. I will use this visit to promote our advantages, including geography, clear skies, infrastructure, skills, a nimble regulatory regime and the ease of doing business here".

Something doesn't add up, does it?

Ah well, as we all know, politicians are often unfamiliar with the truth and there's no room for facts, logic, reason or reality when chasing another chance to sink some fine wine and rub shoulders with the rich and influential at taxpayers' expense... is there?

Note: the above column is only partially written with tongue-in-cheek. Carpe Diem folks!

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